Tuesday, August 31, 2004

How Long Have You Been Stoned?

I was given a tract yesterday at work. For the uninitiated, a tract is a small booklet certain Christians give to non-Christians in hopes this small booklet will lead the non-Christian to Christ. I am categorically opposed to any and all tracts, but that's another discussion.

So, I was ringing up this woman's order. She seemed a bit crazy, and by crazy I mean stoned off her ass. Now, I'm not implying she was smokin' the ganja before buying ridiculously bad and uninspired Christian art (though I wish more people could use that excuse). All I know is that the way she was acting made me want to sing "Shiny Happy People" by REM.

After she pays, she hands me a tract and says, "I want to share this with you." This particular piece was entitled "You're Special." I'm special, and you're a wack job.

I WORK IN A CHRISTIAN BOOKSTORE! I don't need salvation. I might need a drink, but I don't need salvation. Salvation I've got, a sane and normal workplace I don't.

It is truly sad when you have become so ingrained in a mind-set that dictates the world will be changed by a small piece of paper with no sacrifice or commitment on your part that you start trying to evangelize the people who on your "side." I pray to God this woman was stoned, because at least then she has the excuse that she willingly hindered her decision making ability. If she was sober, she serves as an example of why people declare religion a "crutch for the weak-minded", a "mental disorder," etc.


Neville said...

oh ben, the us vs. them war will always be waged. i remember when i was in california i was approached on the street by two youth pastor-type guys who had tracks for me and asked me if i knew jesus. they seemed skeptical and disappointed when i said "yes, i do." they kept asking questions trying to see if i knew the language, the answers, etc., and by the time we were done, they were like, "well, cool--see ya later." what a rejoicing moment it was for three of God's "saved" children to find each other amidst the hussle and bussle of downtown Pasadena. let's just say it took all my restraint not to lash out at them and ask, "so you really aren't happy that i'm already a christian, you really are just skeptical about it b/c you think everyone buy you in this town is lost, right?" this post was another david sedaris-worthy piece. keep it for when you write a book someday please.

ike said...

Your story is so classic to the Christian Bookstore employee. I'm korean with a shaved head usually with a suspicious smirk on my face and alot of people thought I was Buddhist working in a Christian Bookstore. I got the tracks all the time or people continually asking me whether I was saved.

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