Do you feel distant from God? Do you often look at your dog and wonder, ‘Boy, he seems so content. I bet his relationship with God is going great. I wish I could be more like him.”
If so, I’ve got a book for you: Dog Psalms: Prayers My Dogs Have Taught Me. If you’re like me, when you look at a dog you see a creature obsessed with humping, eating its own feces and inappropriately licking itself in front of company. Luckily for us, author Dr. Herbert Brokering looks at dogs and sees creatures that can teach us how to have a deeper relationship with God.
Still think dogs are filthy creatures completely unsuitable for use as spiritual metaphors, never fear, Dr. Brokering has a companion book, Cat Psalms: Prayers My Cats Have Taught Me. Read prayers written in the voices of different cats as well as prayers “in which the human spirit speaks of its cat-like nature to God.” (Amazon.com Product Info.)
I know on the surface this all sounds a bit crazy. I would never look at household pets and think of ways to better pray to God. But thankfully we have Dr. Brokering to delve below the surface of sane human reason to bring us a deeper picture of our own spirituality as portrayed by our furry friends.
Before you write him off as another burned-out Timothy Leary follower, remember that Dr. Brokering is the “Leonardo DaVinci of the Prairies.” What does that mean? I don’t really know, but it sounds like someone I can trust.
I can’t wait for the third installment, Gerbil Revelations: Lessons My Gerbils Have Taught Me About the Apocalypse (with a forward by Richard Gere).
Thanks to my friend (and former Christian retail coworker) Beth for the product info.
Saturday, January 29, 2005
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Popsicle Stick Crosses Will Save The World
A couple in my church, Ben and Alexandra Pierre, recently gave birth to their first son, Philippe. All was well until a few weeks into his life it was discovered he had Hydrocephalus. He basically had too much fluid on the brain. Philippe survived, but any developmental damage will only be discovered as he matures.
After some recuperation time, Philippe and his parents returned to church. During the offertory time, the children were brought downstairs so they could be with their parents during communion. As they entered, each one of them was holding a little popsicle stick cross they had made and personally decorated.
As they walked in, their teacher paraded them over to Philippe where each child handed their cross to Alexandra. Each cross represented the prayers the kids, and the church, had prayed to God on behalf of baby Philippe. You could see the emotion washing over her.
Later, Alexandra came forward to receive communion, holding Philippe in her arms. The person administering the bread was John Fugate, an elder in the church and Philippe’s doctor. He placed his hand on Philippe’s head and prayed a blessing over him. I’m not being poetic when I say tears streamed down Alexandra’s face.
Jesus was always quick to defend children. And while he was making a point about faith, these children showed me the true impact the church can have in the world. Alexandra’s reality was changed forever. God reached into her life and touched her in a very profound way through a group of children and a bunch of popsicle stick crosses.
We’re not going to save the world by taking back Washington. We’re not even going to save the world with our beautiful sermons. We will save the world by taking the time to become intimately involved in the lives of those around us; taking the time to hurt as they hurt, laugh as they laugh, and showing them hope in a God who is there, even when it seems like nothingness and pain are the only realities we can comprehend.
After some recuperation time, Philippe and his parents returned to church. During the offertory time, the children were brought downstairs so they could be with their parents during communion. As they entered, each one of them was holding a little popsicle stick cross they had made and personally decorated.
As they walked in, their teacher paraded them over to Philippe where each child handed their cross to Alexandra. Each cross represented the prayers the kids, and the church, had prayed to God on behalf of baby Philippe. You could see the emotion washing over her.
Later, Alexandra came forward to receive communion, holding Philippe in her arms. The person administering the bread was John Fugate, an elder in the church and Philippe’s doctor. He placed his hand on Philippe’s head and prayed a blessing over him. I’m not being poetic when I say tears streamed down Alexandra’s face.
Jesus was always quick to defend children. And while he was making a point about faith, these children showed me the true impact the church can have in the world. Alexandra’s reality was changed forever. God reached into her life and touched her in a very profound way through a group of children and a bunch of popsicle stick crosses.
We’re not going to save the world by taking back Washington. We’re not even going to save the world with our beautiful sermons. We will save the world by taking the time to become intimately involved in the lives of those around us; taking the time to hurt as they hurt, laugh as they laugh, and showing them hope in a God who is there, even when it seems like nothingness and pain are the only realities we can comprehend.
Wednesday, January 5, 2005
When It's Time To Change, You've Got To Rearrange
I am afraid that my time in the magical world of Christian retail has come to an end. I was offered a part-time job at my church, and I made the jump.
This blog will still exist. I’ll still make fun of the Christian culture, but I envision this space growing to encompass more general discussions of faith and culture along with critiques of bumper stickers. This was bound to happen anyway. You can make fun of Joel Osteen’s hair for only so long before you get bored.
I believe this change will be positive. It’s like when Good Morning Miss Bliss became Saved By The Bell. We all cried at the departure of Hayley Mills as the lovably kooky Miss Bliss. But in return, we were given Tiffani-Amber Thiessen as Kelly Kapowski. If that’s not divine providence, I don’t know what is.
This blog will still exist. I’ll still make fun of the Christian culture, but I envision this space growing to encompass more general discussions of faith and culture along with critiques of bumper stickers. This was bound to happen anyway. You can make fun of Joel Osteen’s hair for only so long before you get bored.
I believe this change will be positive. It’s like when Good Morning Miss Bliss became Saved By The Bell. We all cried at the departure of Hayley Mills as the lovably kooky Miss Bliss. But in return, we were given Tiffani-Amber Thiessen as Kelly Kapowski. If that’s not divine providence, I don’t know what is.
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Live Strong
A woman recently asked me if we had any “Christian knock-offs” of the Lance Armstrong Live Strong bracelets. When I informed her we did not, she said, “That’s funny, we [Christians] usually have some cheap knock-off on the streets in a matter of weeks. I wonder what’s taking so long?”
This woman was at once my most refreshing customer and my most perplexing. Here was a person unafraid to admit the tendency for “Christian knock-offs.” Finally, an honest person was in my store.
What was perplexing was how this lack of creativity seemed to affect her. While she readily admitted most of the “Jesus Junk” was nothing more than a cheap knock-off, she was more than willing to buy it.
Is this my worst fear? Is this a sign that American Christianity has become content to exist as a mere imitation of popular culture?
I suppose you could easily make that argument based on some of the music, books and merchandise we sell. The majority of our church services create some diluted version of pop culture offerings in the name of being “seeker sensitive.” Why must we be content to exist as a cheaper, less creative version of the rest of the world? Why can’t Christians push the cultural landscape?
This sounds very similar to the discussion taking place in the comments section of my “Jay Jay” post. Some theorized that retail is a method by which we express our identity. Therefore, if some Christians are comfortable expressing themselves as cheap knock-offs of pop culture, they should have every right to do so.
The people who argued this point missed the larger question. This is not about retail existing as a means of expressing one’s identity. This is not even about retail. This is about the church becoming comfortable as an institution catering to the complacency of its congregation. Christianity should not exist solely as a place for people looking for spiritual comfort. Christianity should exist as a tool of social and cultural change.
The church is not meant to be a reflection of culture with a God twist. The church is meant to be a reflection of God in a world drowning in sin. We don’t offer that anymore. We sold the high ground in the name of “evangelism,” and it will kill us yet.
This woman was at once my most refreshing customer and my most perplexing. Here was a person unafraid to admit the tendency for “Christian knock-offs.” Finally, an honest person was in my store.
What was perplexing was how this lack of creativity seemed to affect her. While she readily admitted most of the “Jesus Junk” was nothing more than a cheap knock-off, she was more than willing to buy it.
Is this my worst fear? Is this a sign that American Christianity has become content to exist as a mere imitation of popular culture?
I suppose you could easily make that argument based on some of the music, books and merchandise we sell. The majority of our church services create some diluted version of pop culture offerings in the name of being “seeker sensitive.” Why must we be content to exist as a cheaper, less creative version of the rest of the world? Why can’t Christians push the cultural landscape?
This sounds very similar to the discussion taking place in the comments section of my “Jay Jay” post. Some theorized that retail is a method by which we express our identity. Therefore, if some Christians are comfortable expressing themselves as cheap knock-offs of pop culture, they should have every right to do so.
The people who argued this point missed the larger question. This is not about retail existing as a means of expressing one’s identity. This is not even about retail. This is about the church becoming comfortable as an institution catering to the complacency of its congregation. Christianity should not exist solely as a place for people looking for spiritual comfort. Christianity should exist as a tool of social and cultural change.
The church is not meant to be a reflection of culture with a God twist. The church is meant to be a reflection of God in a world drowning in sin. We don’t offer that anymore. We sold the high ground in the name of “evangelism,” and it will kill us yet.
Friday, December 3, 2004
Don't Eat the Vegetables
One Yuletide constant in the bookstore is the overabundance of nativity sets. We literally have them piled up in the front of store. We are out of shelf space. Who knew there were so many takes on the Holy Family sitting in a barn?
Into this fray enters the VeggieTales Nativity Play Set.
I should mention how much I love VeggieTales. I find their videos to be funny, intelligent and great for parents and kids alike. For that, I can look past the unsettling nature of talking vegetables.
Just an aside: What do the VeggieTales characters eat? They can’t be vegetarians. That would make them cannibals. For once the vegetarians would be the cruel ones. I’m guessing its some sort of bread-based high carb diet.
Anyway, despite my love for VeggieTales, I do have to wonder if they’ve gone too far depicting baby Jesus as a baby carrot. I usually dip baby carrots in ranch dressing. For some reason, I feel uncomfortable with the idea of baby Jesus smothered in salad dressing or any other condiment for that matter. It just doesn’t seem orthodox.
Surely, nativity sets are supposed to inspire contemplative thoughts of the lowly conditions surrounding the birth of Christ. The only thing the VeggieTales Nativity Play Set makes me think is, “Boy, a salad sure does sound good right about now.”
Into this fray enters the VeggieTales Nativity Play Set.
I should mention how much I love VeggieTales. I find their videos to be funny, intelligent and great for parents and kids alike. For that, I can look past the unsettling nature of talking vegetables.
Just an aside: What do the VeggieTales characters eat? They can’t be vegetarians. That would make them cannibals. For once the vegetarians would be the cruel ones. I’m guessing its some sort of bread-based high carb diet.
Anyway, despite my love for VeggieTales, I do have to wonder if they’ve gone too far depicting baby Jesus as a baby carrot. I usually dip baby carrots in ranch dressing. For some reason, I feel uncomfortable with the idea of baby Jesus smothered in salad dressing or any other condiment for that matter. It just doesn’t seem orthodox.
Surely, nativity sets are supposed to inspire contemplative thoughts of the lowly conditions surrounding the birth of Christ. The only thing the VeggieTales Nativity Play Set makes me think is, “Boy, a salad sure does sound good right about now.”
Sunday, November 21, 2004
Melting My Faith
Nothing says “Christmas cheer” quite like stuffed snowmen. Though not usually considered to be religious in nature, we still have a large number to choose from. My favorite is the one with “Jesus Warms My Heart” tattooed on its bell. Apparently, this qualifies as religious content and thus guarantees a spot in a Christian bookstore.
“Jesus Warms My Heart.” Stop to think about that from the perspective of a snowman. If Jesus truly warms your heart, then any decision of faith turns into a matter of life or death. The warming of a snowman’s heart brings about his inevitable melting. Accepting Jesus will kill him. This is worse than Frosty the Snowman having to go into the greenhouse.
So, if he accepts eternal salvation, he looses his life. If he rejects eternal salvation, he keeps his life but spends eternity rotting in hell. Talk about an existential dilemma. Screw the martyrs in China, this is the ultimate youth group sermon illustration about the “hard life of following Christ.”
In a moment of honesty, would any of us actually say we would accept Christ if it required melting? I probably wouldn’t, but I hate getting my socks wet.
It’s a humbling experience to realize a snowman has greater faith than you do. Damn you, Cuddly Plush Snowman!
“Jesus Warms My Heart.” Stop to think about that from the perspective of a snowman. If Jesus truly warms your heart, then any decision of faith turns into a matter of life or death. The warming of a snowman’s heart brings about his inevitable melting. Accepting Jesus will kill him. This is worse than Frosty the Snowman having to go into the greenhouse.
So, if he accepts eternal salvation, he looses his life. If he rejects eternal salvation, he keeps his life but spends eternity rotting in hell. Talk about an existential dilemma. Screw the martyrs in China, this is the ultimate youth group sermon illustration about the “hard life of following Christ.”
In a moment of honesty, would any of us actually say we would accept Christ if it required melting? I probably wouldn’t, but I hate getting my socks wet.
It’s a humbling experience to realize a snowman has greater faith than you do. Damn you, Cuddly Plush Snowman!
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
California Here We Come
I was recently struck by the abundance of books declaring “The Gospel According to…” Apparently, the gospel has been told by Peanuts, The Simpsons, Disney, Tolkien, Dr. Seuss, Harry Potter, and Tony Soprano, to name a few.
I believe television, film, books, comics, etc. are all high forms of art. I appreciate any attempt to discuss possible themes and/or artistic visions of the creator(s). Somehow I don’t believe that explains this glut of “Gospel According To…” books. Call me a cynic, but I suspect it has more to do with the Christian desire to claim everything for us so we don’t have to feel guilty watching this.
How many people were initially scared to tell their church friends they were fans of The Simpsons, The Sopranos, Sex and the City, or NPR? We are always afraid of being judged as worldly sinners whose minds were being brainwashed by the liberal media intent on stealing our money and killing our children. If we can pull out a book declaring the Simpsons are a Christian family because they pray, then we’re in the clear. No hell for me, baby.
With that in mind, I want someone to write a book called, The Gospel According to the O.C. I know it’s a trashy show that doesn’t even approach the label of art, but it’s so damn addictive. It’s my new guilty pleasure. I’ve even come up with an outline for all you writers out there. I just ask for a cut of the profits.
Chapter 1: The Cultural Church as Represented in Orange County
The characters on the O.C. are a bunch of narcissistic, spoiled rich kids from the suburbs. Sounds like a mega church to me.
Chapter 2: Ryan Atwood and Spiritual Adoption
No matter how screwed up we are, God still invites us into his dysfunctional church family just like the Cohen’s invited troubled youth, Ryan, to join their dysfunctional suburban paradise.
Chapter 3: Seek and You Shall Find – The Give and Take of Our Relationship With God as Represented by the Relationship of Seth and Summer
Seth wants Summer, but he doesn’t know how to get her. He reaches out to her, and she comes. Everyone else in the world knows that Seth will never be loved like he is by Summer. Despite this, he continues to push her away. In the same way, no one will ever love us like God loves us. Despite this, we still constantly push Him away.
Chapter 4: Sandy Cohen – God Does Not Forsake Us
His father-in-law’s a drunken thief; his wife never appreciates him; his kids get in fights with the water polo team; and they all come to Sandy when they need help. In the same way, we often ignore God until our troubles are beyond our control. At this point we reach out to God, who never lets us down.
Chapter 5: Marissa Cooper – Spiritual Warfare or Mental Illness?
She throws furniture in swimming pools, drinks like an unemployed Irishman on St. Patrick’s Day, sleeps with the yard guy, and spends time in a mental hospital. The church has spent years inappropriately labeling mental illness as spiritual warfare. Why stop now?
Chapter 6: Luke Ward – Sin Has Consequences
He slept with his ex-girlfriend’s mother. I hope it was fun while it lasted, because he nearly died in a car accident. In the same way, promiscuous sex and rampant drug use may be fun in youth group, but eventually, God will punish you in a fit of melodramatic rage.
The rest of the book can fill itself in. Someone should really consider writing this thing. I would volunteer, but I’m too busy on my new project: The Spiritual Journey of Clay Aiken.
I believe television, film, books, comics, etc. are all high forms of art. I appreciate any attempt to discuss possible themes and/or artistic visions of the creator(s). Somehow I don’t believe that explains this glut of “Gospel According To…” books. Call me a cynic, but I suspect it has more to do with the Christian desire to claim everything for us so we don’t have to feel guilty watching this.
How many people were initially scared to tell their church friends they were fans of The Simpsons, The Sopranos, Sex and the City, or NPR? We are always afraid of being judged as worldly sinners whose minds were being brainwashed by the liberal media intent on stealing our money and killing our children. If we can pull out a book declaring the Simpsons are a Christian family because they pray, then we’re in the clear. No hell for me, baby.
With that in mind, I want someone to write a book called, The Gospel According to the O.C. I know it’s a trashy show that doesn’t even approach the label of art, but it’s so damn addictive. It’s my new guilty pleasure. I’ve even come up with an outline for all you writers out there. I just ask for a cut of the profits.
Chapter 1: The Cultural Church as Represented in Orange County
The characters on the O.C. are a bunch of narcissistic, spoiled rich kids from the suburbs. Sounds like a mega church to me.
Chapter 2: Ryan Atwood and Spiritual Adoption
No matter how screwed up we are, God still invites us into his dysfunctional church family just like the Cohen’s invited troubled youth, Ryan, to join their dysfunctional suburban paradise.
Chapter 3: Seek and You Shall Find – The Give and Take of Our Relationship With God as Represented by the Relationship of Seth and Summer
Seth wants Summer, but he doesn’t know how to get her. He reaches out to her, and she comes. Everyone else in the world knows that Seth will never be loved like he is by Summer. Despite this, he continues to push her away. In the same way, no one will ever love us like God loves us. Despite this, we still constantly push Him away.
Chapter 4: Sandy Cohen – God Does Not Forsake Us
His father-in-law’s a drunken thief; his wife never appreciates him; his kids get in fights with the water polo team; and they all come to Sandy when they need help. In the same way, we often ignore God until our troubles are beyond our control. At this point we reach out to God, who never lets us down.
Chapter 5: Marissa Cooper – Spiritual Warfare or Mental Illness?
She throws furniture in swimming pools, drinks like an unemployed Irishman on St. Patrick’s Day, sleeps with the yard guy, and spends time in a mental hospital. The church has spent years inappropriately labeling mental illness as spiritual warfare. Why stop now?
Chapter 6: Luke Ward – Sin Has Consequences
He slept with his ex-girlfriend’s mother. I hope it was fun while it lasted, because he nearly died in a car accident. In the same way, promiscuous sex and rampant drug use may be fun in youth group, but eventually, God will punish you in a fit of melodramatic rage.
The rest of the book can fill itself in. Someone should really consider writing this thing. I would volunteer, but I’m too busy on my new project: The Spiritual Journey of Clay Aiken.
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
The New Album From Jesus
FYI: Jesus has a new album. I’m kidding, but our computer database does list the artist for this album as “Jesus.” I do find it interesting that Jesus recorded an album covering all the overplayed, tired worship songs you used to love but now secretly hate. Then he commissioned a companion book to generate a few extra profits.
On a whim, I decided to take our computer database at face value. What if Jesus really had recorded an album? Here is an excerpt from an interview that would have appeared in [insert your favorite music publication].
******
After a 2000 year hiatus, Jesus has returned to the recording studio. He has remained largely absent from the music scene ever since his band Jesus and the Fishers of Men All-Stars broke up. For the first time in 2000 years, we sat down with Jesus to get his thoughts on the state of music, the possibility of a reunion tour, his new album, and the genius of Ringo Starr.
[Music Magazine]: So why did you wait 2000 years to record a new album.
[Jesus Christ]: I felt like the time was right. I was tired of this religious revival with all these people claiming to understand the impact of my music and then butchering it. It’s like The Strokes; they desperately want to be The Ramones, but they don’t have the talent, the attitude or the life experience to capture that raw energy. Music today is full of posers. I’m here to bring the old school flavor back.
[MM]: There has to be someone you like in today’s music industry?
[JC]: Kanye West, but he did write a song about me. After Bono lost his god complex, I really began to like U2. Johnny Cash and I were really tight. That man was more punk than Blink 182.
[MM]: Who do you think represents what is wrong with the music industry?
[JC]: Kelly Clarkson. She is all that is soulless and wrong. Nickelback really sucks too.
[MM]: In this election year we’ve been reintroduced to musicians making political statements. Your music always seemed to capture the political and social issues of your day so well.
[JC]: How so?
[MM]: Well, you were always looking out for the poor, the oppressed, and the children, among others. You always seemed to want justice. Your music provided the blueprint for socially conscious artists.
[JC]: Those aren’t political issues. That was the major point of my music. These were spiritual issues. They could only be changed by the power of God channeled through His people. I always tried to avoid politics. The issue of taxes was the only exception. If you look at my entire catalogue, I didn’t try to change the world through political action. I tried to change people’s hearts. When these issues are co-opted by political campaigns, they are inevitably distorted, watered down and done a disservice.
[MM]: Many of your fans have tried to claim their political action was motivated by your music. Were they wrong?
[JC]: Here’s the thing about fans, and it’s true of any fan of any major artist: they always get the facts wrong. They all become instant experts. They take one aspect of your music and blow it out of proportion. They end up completely misrepresenting your talent, your message and your catalogue.
The Beatles are the perfect example. Lennon and McCartney were a great songwriting team. People go on and on about that. Those guys were good, but they weren’t that good. The fans also try to say Ringo was the luckiest man in the world; a talentless hack who got lucky. But they overlook the sheer genius of the minimalist drumming on tracks like “In My Life.”
[MM]: So are the fans just dumb?
[JC]: That’s not what I’m saying. You have to remember, that when my music first began to emerge from the underground scene in Nazareth, the cultural climate was a hotbed of unrest. People wanted a revolution. They wanted “Street Fighting Man” by the Rolling Stones. I didn’t give them that. So they ignored the vast majority of what I was saying. They took what was popular and ran with it. But the music lives on, and if you return to that you’ll understand what I’m saying.
[MM]: Let’s get to the question on everyone’s mind, is there going to be a reunion?
[JC]: Nothing has been confirmed, but I will say the boys and I met for a week in Key West and discussed our future over key lime pie and margaritas. We had a great time, and I think the creative tension is still there. We’ve started talking to producers, and I’d say there is a very good chance of an album by the end of next year.
[MM]: Can you give us any kind of taste of the artistic direction of this album?
[JC]: Well, we were hoping for a world music kind of feel. Not Paul Simon in Africa kind of stuff but more of a sampling of music of the disenfranchised. We already have some guests stars lined up, people like Chuck D from Public Enemy, Bono from U2, Moby and Justin Timberlake.
[MM]: Justin Timberlake sings music of the disenfranchised?
[JC]: No, but our record label wanted at least one radio single. It was either Justin Timberlake or Clay Aiken. Pick your poison. I tell you, those accountants are ruining the art form.
On a whim, I decided to take our computer database at face value. What if Jesus really had recorded an album? Here is an excerpt from an interview that would have appeared in [insert your favorite music publication].
******
After a 2000 year hiatus, Jesus has returned to the recording studio. He has remained largely absent from the music scene ever since his band Jesus and the Fishers of Men All-Stars broke up. For the first time in 2000 years, we sat down with Jesus to get his thoughts on the state of music, the possibility of a reunion tour, his new album, and the genius of Ringo Starr.
[Music Magazine]: So why did you wait 2000 years to record a new album.
[Jesus Christ]: I felt like the time was right. I was tired of this religious revival with all these people claiming to understand the impact of my music and then butchering it. It’s like The Strokes; they desperately want to be The Ramones, but they don’t have the talent, the attitude or the life experience to capture that raw energy. Music today is full of posers. I’m here to bring the old school flavor back.
[MM]: There has to be someone you like in today’s music industry?
[JC]: Kanye West, but he did write a song about me. After Bono lost his god complex, I really began to like U2. Johnny Cash and I were really tight. That man was more punk than Blink 182.
[MM]: Who do you think represents what is wrong with the music industry?
[JC]: Kelly Clarkson. She is all that is soulless and wrong. Nickelback really sucks too.
[MM]: In this election year we’ve been reintroduced to musicians making political statements. Your music always seemed to capture the political and social issues of your day so well.
[JC]: How so?
[MM]: Well, you were always looking out for the poor, the oppressed, and the children, among others. You always seemed to want justice. Your music provided the blueprint for socially conscious artists.
[JC]: Those aren’t political issues. That was the major point of my music. These were spiritual issues. They could only be changed by the power of God channeled through His people. I always tried to avoid politics. The issue of taxes was the only exception. If you look at my entire catalogue, I didn’t try to change the world through political action. I tried to change people’s hearts. When these issues are co-opted by political campaigns, they are inevitably distorted, watered down and done a disservice.
[MM]: Many of your fans have tried to claim their political action was motivated by your music. Were they wrong?
[JC]: Here’s the thing about fans, and it’s true of any fan of any major artist: they always get the facts wrong. They all become instant experts. They take one aspect of your music and blow it out of proportion. They end up completely misrepresenting your talent, your message and your catalogue.
The Beatles are the perfect example. Lennon and McCartney were a great songwriting team. People go on and on about that. Those guys were good, but they weren’t that good. The fans also try to say Ringo was the luckiest man in the world; a talentless hack who got lucky. But they overlook the sheer genius of the minimalist drumming on tracks like “In My Life.”
[MM]: So are the fans just dumb?
[JC]: That’s not what I’m saying. You have to remember, that when my music first began to emerge from the underground scene in Nazareth, the cultural climate was a hotbed of unrest. People wanted a revolution. They wanted “Street Fighting Man” by the Rolling Stones. I didn’t give them that. So they ignored the vast majority of what I was saying. They took what was popular and ran with it. But the music lives on, and if you return to that you’ll understand what I’m saying.
[MM]: Let’s get to the question on everyone’s mind, is there going to be a reunion?
[JC]: Nothing has been confirmed, but I will say the boys and I met for a week in Key West and discussed our future over key lime pie and margaritas. We had a great time, and I think the creative tension is still there. We’ve started talking to producers, and I’d say there is a very good chance of an album by the end of next year.
[MM]: Can you give us any kind of taste of the artistic direction of this album?
[JC]: Well, we were hoping for a world music kind of feel. Not Paul Simon in Africa kind of stuff but more of a sampling of music of the disenfranchised. We already have some guests stars lined up, people like Chuck D from Public Enemy, Bono from U2, Moby and Justin Timberlake.
[MM]: Justin Timberlake sings music of the disenfranchised?
[JC]: No, but our record label wanted at least one radio single. It was either Justin Timberlake or Clay Aiken. Pick your poison. I tell you, those accountants are ruining the art form.
Tuesday, November 9, 2004
Librarians Rock
I just found one of my new favorite blogs: Dispatches From a Public Librarian.
Thanks to my friend Kate for the link.
Thanks to my friend Kate for the link.
Wednesday, November 3, 2004
Indianapolis Art Show
For any of you in the general vicinity of Indianapolis, my friend, Kyle Ragsdale, is having an art show November 5 that I highly reccomend. "Honey I'm Home" sounds like it has great potential to create discussion about community, the church, etc. I'm a big believer in the power of the arts to bring about social change in the world. I also am a big fan of Kyle's paintings and am the proud owner of a couple of them.
I think the format for the gallery show sounds original. It should be a wonderful experience. Plus, you get free food. You can't beat that.
I think the format for the gallery show sounds original. It should be a wonderful experience. Plus, you get free food. You can't beat that.
Friday, October 29, 2004
Smitty Keeps on Rockin' in the Free World
In case anyone cared, Michael W. Smith just released his first studio album in a number of years. His middle-aged fan base is eating it up. I'm tired of soccer moms telling me how many sleepless nights they've had anticipating this new artistic milestone. Just buy the album and keep your Smitty fantasies to yourself.
In their description of the album, Family Christian Bookstore says Smith, "...stands as a pillar in the Christian community and beyond." And beyond? Since when does anyone else care who the hell Michael W. Smith is? Most Christians under the age of 30 don't even care who he is.
My disgust for Michael W. Smith stems from two things: 1)his horrendous song "Cross of Gold" (audio sample is at the bottom of the page) and 2) the cover of his 1984 album Michael W. Smith 2. Although "Go West Young Man" still kicks ass in a kitschy nostalgic sort of way.
In their description of the album, Family Christian Bookstore says Smith, "...stands as a pillar in the Christian community and beyond." And beyond? Since when does anyone else care who the hell Michael W. Smith is? Most Christians under the age of 30 don't even care who he is.
My disgust for Michael W. Smith stems from two things: 1)his horrendous song "Cross of Gold" (audio sample is at the bottom of the page) and 2) the cover of his 1984 album Michael W. Smith 2. Although "Go West Young Man" still kicks ass in a kitschy nostalgic sort of way.
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Jesus Is In Our Meatloaf
If I ever write a book about the Christian subculture, I’m going to call it Jesus Is In Our Meatloaf, a line I stole from my wife.
Here’s a little background:
My friend, Jim, recently broke his arm. It was a very bad break requiring surgery to fix. (Just an aside: If there are any attractive, single women in the Twin Cities area who would like to help care for Jim, let me know. Please include a picture with your resume.)
Anyway, in an effort to help out, everyone at church decided to take him food, offer to do household chores, etc. I took Jim some soup the day after his surgery. Here I was, good little Christian boy [stop laughing] taking my ailing friend some soup. When I arrived at his apartment, I was greeted by the presence of some of his non-Christian coworkers. (I should note that I do not in fact know the religious feelings of these people. They could very well be very devout Christians. I’m just assuming their lack of Christianity to make a point.)
I was joking with my wife, Nikki, that there is a tendency to want to “out love” non-Christians in situations like that. We want to prove that Christians are better at “helping a brother out” than our well intentioned “rivals.”
At that point, my wife chimed in, [add sarcasm] “Yeah, Jesus is in our meatloaf.”
God, I love that woman.
Here’s a little background:
My friend, Jim, recently broke his arm. It was a very bad break requiring surgery to fix. (Just an aside: If there are any attractive, single women in the Twin Cities area who would like to help care for Jim, let me know. Please include a picture with your resume.)
Anyway, in an effort to help out, everyone at church decided to take him food, offer to do household chores, etc. I took Jim some soup the day after his surgery. Here I was, good little Christian boy [stop laughing] taking my ailing friend some soup. When I arrived at his apartment, I was greeted by the presence of some of his non-Christian coworkers. (I should note that I do not in fact know the religious feelings of these people. They could very well be very devout Christians. I’m just assuming their lack of Christianity to make a point.)
I was joking with my wife, Nikki, that there is a tendency to want to “out love” non-Christians in situations like that. We want to prove that Christians are better at “helping a brother out” than our well intentioned “rivals.”
At that point, my wife chimed in, [add sarcasm] “Yeah, Jesus is in our meatloaf.”
God, I love that woman.
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Jay Jay the Jet Plane & Looking For Mars Hill
I never thought Jay Jay the Jet Plane could provide the foundation for an in-depth discussion on the nature of Christian retail. Boy was I wrong. My coworker, “Don” (not his real name) and I were labeling new Jay Jay videos to put out for sale.
Out of nowhere, Don remarks, “I don’t think a Christian bookstore should be selling Jay Jay the Jet Plane videos. I’ve watched parts of them, and they’re not overtly Christian. They’re probably very moral in what they teach, but I just don’t think it’s right for a Christian bookstore to sell items that are not overtly Christian.”
I should note I am opposed to Jay Jay for purely stylistic reasons. I hate children’s videos that showcase machinery with human faces. It’s just not right. It begs the question, “Why does Jay Jay, a plane, have a big smiley face like a person?” I have come to one of two possible conclusions. 1) He is some weird, demonic plane-human hybrid or 2) Somebody had a bad acid trip and decided to make a kid’s video out of it. Either way I don’t like it.
But I digress.
Don raises an interesting point. His complaint is based on a particular assumption about the nature of Christian retail. I don’t necessarily agree with him, but it did lead to a great dialogue about the question, “What should a Christian bookstore look like.”
I know some people feel Christian bookstores are a waste of space and should be burned to the ground as some sort of physical act of worship. Others believe it is the only place for certain artists, writers and musicians to exist without either “selling out to the world” or being ignored by nonreligious venues. You could also define a third group that may not question the idea of Christian bookstores, but they would question the practical application of that idea.
Depending on a number of factors including how much coffee I’ve had, how many evil customers have entered the store or how many pieces of “art” I’ve sold, I could fit into any one of these categories. After talking to Don, I wonder if I have too easily written off Christian bookstores? Let’s be honest, I have an entire blog devoted to mocking the very thing that helps pay my rent. That’s not a very grateful thing to do. Maybe there is something there.
I tend to believe that Christian bookstores provide a place for Christians to hide from the real world. We have created this infrastructure of marginally well-produced literature, music, film and “art” that seems to sustain us. We have no need to engage with the greater culture, unless we’re picketing to stop gay marriage or to let teenage girls seeking abortions know they’re going to burn in hell with Hitler, Osama and Clinton.
I wonder if I dismissed the idea of Christian bookstores because the vast majority of them are exactly what I described: a safe haven for Christians who forget the parts of the Bible that call us to be active participants in the world around us. Maybe there is hope for a Christian bookstore that seeks to be countercultural instead of anti-culture?
We should seek to engage culture instead of running from it. Carry books that have Christian themes but are not overtly Christian (or are too well written to be described as “Christian fiction.”) Have film discussion nights about films like Magnolia or Big Fish. Have art shows featuring local artists with no religious agenda but exist merely to showcase good local art and to build relationships. Carry music by bands who are Christ-haunted (a phrase I stole from Linford Detweiler of Over the Rhine). Have debates about Christian responses to social injustice in the area. The list could go on.
Maybe the Christian bookstore I envision looks more like the Apostle Paul on Mars Hill instead of Bob Jones University. I’m just throwing things out there. I’m not even sure how to bring about such a store. Some would argue that it sounds like your average independent bookstore that is quickly being driven to extinction. Maybe it is. All I know is that as I spent a long October day putting price stickers on Jay Jay the Jet Plane and the Jump 5 Christmas album, I had to ask myself, “Why are we doing this? Why is this the path we have chosen?”
Out of nowhere, Don remarks, “I don’t think a Christian bookstore should be selling Jay Jay the Jet Plane videos. I’ve watched parts of them, and they’re not overtly Christian. They’re probably very moral in what they teach, but I just don’t think it’s right for a Christian bookstore to sell items that are not overtly Christian.”
I should note I am opposed to Jay Jay for purely stylistic reasons. I hate children’s videos that showcase machinery with human faces. It’s just not right. It begs the question, “Why does Jay Jay, a plane, have a big smiley face like a person?” I have come to one of two possible conclusions. 1) He is some weird, demonic plane-human hybrid or 2) Somebody had a bad acid trip and decided to make a kid’s video out of it. Either way I don’t like it.
But I digress.
Don raises an interesting point. His complaint is based on a particular assumption about the nature of Christian retail. I don’t necessarily agree with him, but it did lead to a great dialogue about the question, “What should a Christian bookstore look like.”
I know some people feel Christian bookstores are a waste of space and should be burned to the ground as some sort of physical act of worship. Others believe it is the only place for certain artists, writers and musicians to exist without either “selling out to the world” or being ignored by nonreligious venues. You could also define a third group that may not question the idea of Christian bookstores, but they would question the practical application of that idea.
Depending on a number of factors including how much coffee I’ve had, how many evil customers have entered the store or how many pieces of “art” I’ve sold, I could fit into any one of these categories. After talking to Don, I wonder if I have too easily written off Christian bookstores? Let’s be honest, I have an entire blog devoted to mocking the very thing that helps pay my rent. That’s not a very grateful thing to do. Maybe there is something there.
I tend to believe that Christian bookstores provide a place for Christians to hide from the real world. We have created this infrastructure of marginally well-produced literature, music, film and “art” that seems to sustain us. We have no need to engage with the greater culture, unless we’re picketing to stop gay marriage or to let teenage girls seeking abortions know they’re going to burn in hell with Hitler, Osama and Clinton.
I wonder if I dismissed the idea of Christian bookstores because the vast majority of them are exactly what I described: a safe haven for Christians who forget the parts of the Bible that call us to be active participants in the world around us. Maybe there is hope for a Christian bookstore that seeks to be countercultural instead of anti-culture?
We should seek to engage culture instead of running from it. Carry books that have Christian themes but are not overtly Christian (or are too well written to be described as “Christian fiction.”) Have film discussion nights about films like Magnolia or Big Fish. Have art shows featuring local artists with no religious agenda but exist merely to showcase good local art and to build relationships. Carry music by bands who are Christ-haunted (a phrase I stole from Linford Detweiler of Over the Rhine). Have debates about Christian responses to social injustice in the area. The list could go on.
Maybe the Christian bookstore I envision looks more like the Apostle Paul on Mars Hill instead of Bob Jones University. I’m just throwing things out there. I’m not even sure how to bring about such a store. Some would argue that it sounds like your average independent bookstore that is quickly being driven to extinction. Maybe it is. All I know is that as I spent a long October day putting price stickers on Jay Jay the Jet Plane and the Jump 5 Christmas album, I had to ask myself, “Why are we doing this? Why is this the path we have chosen?”
Friday, October 8, 2004
Christmas Spirit
Best line of the day: my manager looked at our "Wall of Christmas Cheer" and said, "It looks like Santa puked."
It does indeed.
It does indeed.
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