I grew up obsessed with end times conspiracy theories. My childhood dreams were filled with the Illuminati, the New World Order and other similar things. The Mark of the Beast (666) was one of the biggest concerns I came across. Everybody was afraid of being forced and/or tricked into getting the mark.
Of course, if you could figure out what the Mark of the Beast would actually be, then you would be able to avoid it. All of the conjecture was centered around the idea that you will not be able to buy or sell without the Mark of the Beast (see Revelation 13:16-18). Depending on who you talked to, that could mean a lot of different things. (Just Google “Mark of the Beast” and you’ll see over 7 million pages devoted to it.)
Most people believed that the mark would appear in stages. There would be a gateway Mark of the Beast, something less oppressive that would dull our conscience, making us easier targets for the Antichrist. One of the most common theories was a fingerprint scanner that would automatically deduct money from your checking account.
It will never happen. There is no way Americans would let anyone have their fingerprints.
The unthinkable has become true.
I was at my local grocery store, when I noticed that they had incorporated Pay By TouchTM technology. All I wanted were some yams. I didn’t realize that I would have to pledge allegiance to the Antichrist to get them. I don’t care how good they are. No yam is worth eternal hellfire and damnation.
Begin the countdown. Armageddon is coming.
Wednesday, November 9, 2005
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4 comments:
My prof was busy talking to someone else. I had to wait awhile. I dropped them by the store this afternoon.
To those of you not involved in this conversation, we're talking about material from my Patron [and Matron] Saints for Postmoderns class. You can check out my prof's blog about the class and the related book he is working on at Dead Christians Society.
Oh my, I read some terrible book about just this when I was a kid. I seem to remember cannibalism as part of the story. Thinking these days seems to be that the mark will be one of those "your life on a microchip implanted in you and scannable." I'm sure studies have been done on the intense distrust of both government and technology revealed by all these theories.
I saw this movie called "Thief In The Night" it was this terrible tribulation movie made in the 1970's maybe earlier..? The point is it was about as you can get, like it was laugh out loud funny. I read the first Left Behind book, and I couldn't stop laughing after they gave themselves a "group" name -- what was it...? the tribulation squad or the rapture brigade? something along those lines.
In short most movies about the end of the world just can't live up to what you expect it to be...I mean it's the freakin' end of the world, it's supposed to be gruesome, and slightly horrifying to watch.
If you're still into conspiracies theories. Check out Peering into Darkness.
Conspiracy Theories from Christians.
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