Monday, September 27, 2004

Eyes To See

Another sign of the impending apocalypse: we now sell reading glasses. Spiritual Eyes Reading Glasses (yes, that's the real name) recently made their debut at our store. I can't help but be reminded of Joseph Smith and his "magical spectacles" that allowed him to translate the tablets that later became the book of Mormon. I doubt that's a comparison welcomed by most Evangelicals.

We placed the glasses next to the WWJD bracelets. Hopefully, people will have "eyes to see" that Jesus wouldn't wear any of this crap. (Sorry, I couldn't resist the pun.)

Between the reading glasses and the Precious Moments calendars, I might have to start drinking at work.

21 comments:

Rouver said...

You'd be most welcome to join us over at Badmouth.

http://www.badmouth.net/

It's a wonderfully humorous site with a ragtag community that enjoys twisted humor & arguing with one another. The author is a brilliant writer whose style is reminiscent of [insert witty bit here. My degree was in science, not in some liberal arts pussy department. What's the worst that can happen to them? Oooh, ooh, I've got a papercut. *I* could die of *cancer*. ...although, does that make me the winner?)

Ah, I digress. Go here for one of my favorite pieces by Hipnerd:

http://www.badmouth.net/archives/000002.php

Holt said...

Beautiful site here. I find myself laughing in agreement with much of what you have here. As my dad (a minister and professor at a Christian university) always says, "If I owned a Christian bookstore, I'd burn it in the name of Christ."

Anonymous said...

My defining moment was recently coming upon the Thomas Kincade Patriotic America calendar. I write about it here:
http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=javasnick&tab=weblogs&uid=127707956

Needless to say, the word vivisection is a staggering understatement!

Sara

Michael said...

I was doing a blog by and couldn't help laughing at the reference to the WWJD bracelets and your pun. Is that the Holy Crap section of the book store?

Take Care
Michael

Ben said...

That would definitely be the Holy Crap section of the store. The worst is the art. It's so bad, even conservative Evangelical Christians won't buy most of it.

Abigail said...

Ben, I've much enjoyed reading your blog, and have forwarded links on to many people ... I'm glad to see that Christian bookstores are still carrying something with Precious Moments images on it. When I was a kid, I remember the wall of Precious Moments figurines, so PM is now forever connected with Christian bookstores in my mind.

So should I get you a flask for Christmas?

Abby

Anonymous said...

Ben,

Sara (see below), my housemate and fellow peon here at a well-known Christian Magazine publisher, just sent me the link to your blog.

I just want you to know that here in the online editorial dept, we're with you in the war against the Jesus Junk. I was the manager of our now defunct Christian Site Search, a cesspool collecting websites that advertise many of the same god-awful things you sell in your store. I want you to know that your website will fill the void left by the CSS's untimely demise.

This afternoon, please feel free to treat yourself to a rum and coke, (hold the coke) with us!

Melody

Anonymous said...

make that my housemate Sara see above.

Anonymous said...

make that my housemate Sara see above.

Ben said...

Melody,

I'm glad I'm able to help contribute to alcoholism in the Christian publishing world. I still want to believe someone agreed to publish the Left Behind series after doing about 16 shots of tequila. It's the only explanation that allows me to sleep at night.

Ben

Rouver said...

Are you referring to the *childrens* Left Behind series?

Holt said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Holt said...

Where's the loot? Christmas card.

Anonymous said...

Made me laugh. Really struggle with the sanctified-plastic, the Jesus-Junk.
Re the WWJD bracelets, my youthgroup made me a bracelet with "HWOGITMITFP" on (he wouldn't of got into this mess in the first place") ....... maybe the stuff in the christian bookshops wouldn't be as bad if it didn't take itself so seriously.
Youthblog, England

Ben said...

Rouver,

I'm referring to the Left Behind series of books (and the bad movie starring Kirk Cameron). Not a shining moment in Christian art, in my opinion.

Ben

DeeDee said...

As a drop-out of a Christian college, I find much joy in reading your blog. I'm forwarding your link to my ex-fellow classmates.

My most embarrassing moment? (And I swear that I was possessed by the ghost of Growing Pains Recollection) Having witnesses around as I bought the "Left Behind: The Movie" as my first dvd ever. What was I thinking? Well, apparently I wasn't.

Rouver said...

Ah, so you haven't come across the series of books that deal with the coming rapture, the resulting apocalyptic hell-on-earth setting, sin-plumped adults that shuffle mindlessly, wanting to eat your braaaaiiiiinnns (wait, is that Left Behind or Dawn of the Dead?)....that is directed toward KIDS.

Well, don't just sit there! Frighten the holy blue baby bejebus out of your youngun's here:

http://www.leftbehind.com/channelkids.asp

Ambre said...

Ben,
in your borderline disreverence, sarcasm, and true concern for the effects of the christian marketplace, i feel i have found a kindred spirit. keep up the honesty!
ambre

Ambre said...

by disreverence, i mean irreverence. my friends and i have frequently referred to it as the other...

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