The first day of work is always fun. You learn the lay of the land, meet new people and try to figure out if you've just made the biggest mistake of your life. All of my co-workers seem like very nice, very cool people. They all seem to enjoy gently mocking certain items in our inventory. Take my surpervisor as an example. On my tour of the store we stopped in the gift section (think Hallmark figurines with a Bible verse). She told me, "If you happen to break any of the ugly things in this section, oh well -- we can't sell them. Not that I'm advocating randomly breaking store merchandise, but some of this stuff is ugly as sin."
I think my favorite thing of the day was a kids t-shirt. Imagine the Mt. Dew logo, but instead mentioning soda it reads, "Jesus: He Died For You." Do you get it? It sounds like "Do the Dew." Oh my freaking gosh, that is so cool. Move over Billy Graham; this t-shirt will save millions of angry suburban teens from their sins. Honestly, this shirt did not make me want to repent. It did make me want a Mt. Dew slushy. Of course, I would have probably gotten a brain freeze as some sort of cosmic punishment for mocking this divinely inspired cotton billboard for Christ.
What have I gotten myself into?
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
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You need to keep a small arsenal of ugly gift things with you to throw at annoying customers when they leave. There's no more appropriate response to people purchasing the entire Left Behind series than to be killed by a hail of Precious Moments figurines.
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