Sunday, November 21, 2004

Melting My Faith

Nothing says “Christmas cheer” quite like stuffed snowmen. Though not usually considered to be religious in nature, we still have a large number to choose from. My favorite is the one with “Jesus Warms My Heart” tattooed on its bell. Apparently, this qualifies as religious content and thus guarantees a spot in a Christian bookstore.

“Jesus Warms My Heart.” Stop to think about that from the perspective of a snowman. If Jesus truly warms your heart, then any decision of faith turns into a matter of life or death. The warming of a snowman’s heart brings about his inevitable melting. Accepting Jesus will kill him. This is worse than Frosty the Snowman having to go into the greenhouse.

So, if he accepts eternal salvation, he looses his life. If he rejects eternal salvation, he keeps his life but spends eternity rotting in hell. Talk about an existential dilemma. Screw the martyrs in China, this is the ultimate youth group sermon illustration about the “hard life of following Christ.”

In a moment of honesty, would any of us actually say we would accept Christ if it required melting? I probably wouldn’t, but I hate getting my socks wet.

It’s a humbling experience to realize a snowman has greater faith than you do. Damn you, Cuddly Plush Snowman!

11 comments:

Anthony said...

but doesnt xianity require a total anhillation of self ?

bobbie said...

oh ben, ya made me laugh out loud! damn you snowman! love that line!

Halden said...

This is the kind of post that keeps me coming back to this Blog. The beautiful struggle of a christian snowman, priceless.

Anonymous said...

"For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake, and for the sake of the gospel, will save it." (Mark 8:35)

Bonhoeffer took a step further, "When Christ calls a man, he bids him to die."

The snowman must melt. But picture the path of the water. Unless he's plastic. Then it's a big damn mess.

Ben said...

a brother of joseph-

Dude, the pot’s making you hysterical. Chill out and eat some Doritos. Everything’s going to be ok.

Sarah Brush said...

"It’s a humbling experience to realize a snowman has greater faith than you do. Damn you, Cuddly Plush Snowman! "

One of the best blog lines I've ever heard!

In fact I often do find that God makes me melt inside.Especially when I have become very hard-hearted or determined about something and the fixed on the insistence that God should do it MY way. When my resolve finally gives in then I melt.

Fabtastic to find a blog that mixes humour and depth... even if it does look exactly like mine - FREAKY!

Ben said...

Sarah-

The difference between your blog and mine is that I have an American blog. This means more sex and violence; random wars will be started in the name of God; the usual stuff.

Anonymous said...

But if accepting Jesus literally caused you to melt, then it wouldn't be faith anymore - you'd have physical proof.

Ben said...

Would we really have proof? Perhaps the snowman took up smoking and melted himself from the resulting heat of the cigarette. Besides, he still has to have faith that the next life is better than the one he melts away.

The worst part is that I'm philosophizing about the eternal fate of a stuffed snowman.

Ben said...

Proverbial Wife -

Like the chains mentioned in the story you linked, my store recently expanded our Sunday hours to noon-5pm. So, once a month I will be leaving church earlier in order to get to work on time. I've actually begun working on a letter of protest to be sent to the corporate office, and I'll probably be posting about it in more depth in the near future.

Here's my short take on the whole thing:

Language like "ministry" is very loaded. I think it's all a PR move. That "ministry" is built on the back of employees making less than a liveable wage and working non-traditional hours. Some would argue that is the nature of retail. That's fine. My problem is that these stores try to minister to their customers, but they do not minister to their own employees. (For disturbing parallels, see how Christians treat their pastors). I would have more respect for a CEO who told me it was all about money. At least he's honest.

More later.

hannah faith said...

As an ex-christian publishing employee AND an ex-chain bookstore employee, I just have to say....keep it up! Thanks for keeping a record of all the funky and weird paraphernalia that the Christian subculture produces.
Peace,
Hannah