How May I Serve You?

I swear, regardless of denominational affiliation or the sizes of the congregation, Christians are the laziest people in the world. Part of my job at the church is recruiting volunteers. It’s amazing how quickly people become too busy to help you. Suddenly, something as simple as passing the offering plate becomes some all-consuming activity that does not allow them to help you out.

What I'm really bothered by are the people who are willing to come to a brainstorming session for a ministry, but they are unwilling to do the work to implement the ideas. Everyone thinks they are God’s gift to the church; they have all the answers to what we’re doing wrong, but they are unwilling to act on it.

I’m just venting. I don’t have it as bad as some people I know. I do have a handful of people who have been with the church from nearly the beginning who will do anything I need. They are quiet servants who are more than happy to go without recognition, and being around them is energizing.

It’s those lazy ones that just get to me. My friend Jim created a theory about church plants. You have the first wave of people who are passionate about the vision and will do anything that needs done. (Part of that is out of necessity because there are not a lot of people to do the work). The second wave are people who come and see the first wave doing everything and assume it is all getting done. (Many of these people are who I’m talking about. It’s not that they are unaware of ways they can help serve, it is more that they are unwilling to help serve.) Jim’s theory maintains that eventually there will be a third wave of people who will want to get involved.

[In the name of full disclosure, one thing I can definitely improve on is my ability to recognize potential leaders and empower them to lead in an area they are passionate about. I’m working on that.]

Is the problem all with me and my approach? (An answer I am fully prepared to accept as true.) Or is this unwillingness to serve a symptom of a bigger problem in Christianity? Have we become a people who are only content when things are being fed to us like we’re children?

In his book, The Gospel in a Pluralist Society, Leslie Newbigin says “The priestly people needs a ministering priesthood to sustain and nourish it. Men and women are not ordained to this ministerial priesthood in order to take priesthood away from the people but in order to nourish and sustain the priesthood of the people. Just as we observe one day of the week as ‘the Lord’s Day,’ not in order that the other six days may be left to the devil but in order that they may all belong to the Lord; so we set apart a man or woman to a ministerial priesthood not in order to take away the priesthood of the whole body but to enable it.”

I believe that is true, but there are times that I wonder if too many Christians like the idea of a strong priesthood (or pastors) because they see it as an excuse for inaction. I don’t know how to change that. Maybe I don’t have to. Maybe my Transformational Leadership class this quarter will show me that I have been going about this the wrong way. Maybe I will finally learn how to develop the leaders for the future instead of simply finding the workers for the present. Maybe I will learn that every Christian desperately wants to be an active part of the mission of the church, they just need to be asked in the right way.

Maybe.

Killing In The Name Of

Just when you think Christians might be gaining a little respect in the world, Pat Robertson opens his mouth. Apparently, he feels it is time for the U.S. to assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez in a preemptive strike. Robertson views Chavez as a “terrific danger.”

My favorite argument is that assassinating Chavez would save us money, because it would avoid a war. I love it that Robertson believes the sixth commandment “Thou shalt not kill,” is rendered null and void by his own view that “Thou shalt always think with thy bank account.” When did economics become a higher motivation than human life?

I know Robertson’s insane. He’ll retire to Pensacola with Jerry Falwell and James Dobson where they’ll plot ways to fire bomb San Francisco in an attempt to rid the earth of gay people. No one takes him seriously.

Or do they? I suppose that’s my issue. Robertson is so far off the deep end that only crazy people within Christianity believe him. (By crazy people, I mean anyone who believes Left Behind is a prophetic vision of how the world will end.) But he makes good television.

Why would the news stations have a theologian giving a thoughtful, intelligent Christian critique of the world when they could have Pat Robertson come on and threaten people? With Robertson you have a man with just enough sanity left to seem legitimate, but with enough dementia to make you think “I bet he spends his weekends dancing around a fire in a loincloth eating dead rats he caught with his bare hands.”

The man is a ratings booster. And every time he is allowed to be the token Christian spokesperson, the world believes a little more that all Christians are this insane. No one takes the time to explore whether or not his views actually line up with biblical teaching.

Maybe I should just give up on the Evangelical world and become a Catholic. At least they know how to party.

It's All In My Mind

It seems like the Evangelical Christian world is all about finding the next big thing. We never assume that we have it figured out. If it was good enough for the people before us, it must be wrong.

Some friends and I were discussing this and decided we needed to come up with the next big movement in Evangelical Christianity. The idea we came up with is so revolutionary, so forward thinking, that it makes the Emergent church look like a bunch of regressive hacks.

We are going to push for a post-communal understanding of church. Simply put, it is a (re)turn to hyper-individualism. The mega churches of our day are too concerned with entertaining large quantities of people all at once. Being around that many people is a distraction. We need to return to heart of Christianity, because it’s all about me and Jesus.

Everybody wants to have “conversations” these days where they talk about the problems of the church. Nothing makes me laugh more than a bunch of middle-aged, white men drinking half-caff skinny lattes at Starbucks while they discuss the plight of the third world. If our conversations never lead to action, let’s drop the façade.

With a post-communal understanding of Christianity, we finally have a mechanism for taking into account the human condition as it relates to our spirituality. The basic point is this:

I don’t care about you.

It seems harsh, but we all know it’s true. My Christianity is about securing my own happiness – the “good life” if you will. Instead of wasting my time acting like I care about your life, I should be using my energy to grow closer to God. In the end, it is my personal relationship with Christ that really matters. Everything else is just a roadblock to the intimate relationship with him I really desire.

My friends and I are working on some paraphernalia that will help enhance this individualistic growth. Our first product will be the Heavenly Eyes Multimedia Helmet. They are basically recycled Blue Blockers glued to a bike helmet with built-in video screens and an .mp3 player. Now you can custom create the multimedia experience that best enhances your relationship with Jesus. Everything from PowerPoint slides set to rare U2 tracks to videos of dancing rabbits doing the Macarena – whatever it is that brings you closer to God, these glasses provide it.

(Note: Our lawyers would like us to add that any resemblance to the Oakley Thump™ is in fact coincidental. Our product fills a unique niche in the market and performs tasks that are all together different from those of the Oakley Thump™)

This is just the first push in the impending tidal wave of reform that is the post-communal understanding of church. Before you know it, we’ll have books, DVDs, plush toys – all with the express purpose of helping as many people as possible make that (re)turn to hyper-individualism as they seek to grow closer to God.

To The Roof Of The Sky

I don’t know anything about construction. I love watching television shows like This Old House, but when it comes to actually doing construction work, I’m more lost than Jerry Falwell at a gay pride event.

So, I was a bit shocked to find myself two stories in the air straddling a couple of trusses in an attempt to put plywood on a new roof. Some friends from church had decided to turn their 1 story house into a 1½-story house. To save money they had decided to do the work themselves, with the help of their church friends.

From the beginning, the project seemed much larger than it had appeared on paper. Panicked, my friends pleaded for additional help. We responded in force. It was a rag tag group of volunteers to be sure. Among the many volunteers, there was a Ph.D. candidate in history, a graphic designer, and a seminary student (that would be me). If you were to look at us as physical specimens, you would not exactly imagine physical labor as something we’d excel at.

(Speaking of physical specimens, I’m still upset that I was forbidden to remove my shirt for fear that my painfully white chest would blind someone. I care about workplace safety as much as the next guy, but it was bloody hot out there.)

What we lacked in experience, we made up for in spunk. It turned into an old-fashioned barn raising (minus the square dance and flirting with your cousin). This is church at its finest – people coming together to help others out.

After one of the longer days, the academic, the designer and myself were hanging out reminiscing about the day’s events. There is a sense of pride you gain from helping to build something, especially when you know the act of building is helping someone else. Not only had we helped build the top of a house, but we had bonded with each other as well. It was empowering to do something like that.

Not only had I helped a friend out, but I had also learned that if I get too jaded by Christian ministry, I will always have a future in roofing.

Patriotic Worship

This past weekend was Memorial Day, a time when we remember those he gave their lives for our country. These celebrations are important. We should remember those who fought for our country, even when they did not necessarily agree with the politics behind the wars.

However, I did find it odd that a local church had a sign in their lawn advertising “Patriotic Worship” for the Sunday of Memorial Day Weekend. What exactly is patriotic worship? Do we gather round the flag and tell it how much we love it? Do we bow down to larger than life statues of President Bush? “We praise you, O Lord, our President, for giving us life and making us understand that Christianity is best viewed through a political lens.”

This is the problem with American Christianity. Certain groups have decided that Christianity and nationalism must be joined together. Last time I checked, Christianity was never about an individual nation. Of course Crazy Jim Dobson doesn’t believe that (James Dobson’s descent into insanity and mean-spiritedness is a whole other discussion by itself).

I’m not saying people should not be patriotic, although disrespecting the flag by wearing an ugly American flag sweater or painting it on your truck isn’t exactly patriotic. I just wonder if we’ve diluted the Gospel too much by trying to force our political views into it (and yes, I am condemning the liberals like myself as well as the conservatives). We’ve taken a message that is about love, salvation and hope in eternal life and turned it into a weapon to yield political power.

And now we’re singing patriotic worship songs because apparently worshiping God wasn’t cutting edge enough. I just wish Kirk Cameron would come back and rapture us all. Oh wait; is Kirk the one coming back or J.C.? I’ll have to reference my Tim LaHaye Prophecy Study Bible.

The Spirit Moved - And I Slept

A little while ago I had agreed to be part of a Grid Blog that discussed how the Holy Spirit was moving in a variety of Christian communities around the world. We were supposed to post on Pentecost (May 15). If you'll glance through my blog, you'll see no mention of this exercise. I wish had some great excuse, but I basically forgot. My apologies to all those other bloggers who actually fulfilled their word. You can check out the Grid Blog at The Corner.

We Didn't Start The Fire

I knew it had been a long time since my last post, but I didn’t realize it had been almost 2 months. Between work, school and shopping for my first house, I lost track of time. To my loyal fan (that would be you, Jim) I apologize.

Life has been rather stressful recently, and I’ve found myself looking for things to laugh at to relieve the stress. One of my favorite sources of laughter has become the youth group materials that get sent to our church. Record companies and other Christian “ministries” develop these curriculums that integrate whatever they’re selling with a variety of Christian lessons. Sometimes it turns out well; sometimes you just have to wonder what they were thinking.

One of these brochures contained an insert outlining a youth group session aimed at teaching young women the joys of sexual purity. For the warm-up they suggest playing a game called “Burned.” Here is their description [words typed in all-caps appeared that way in the original material]:

“Play BURNED – a form of ‘Musical Chairs.’ Place chairs in a line (or in rows if needed), having one less chair than girls. At one end of the chairs hang red, orange and yellow streamers from the ceiling (about 3-4 feet wide) so they touch the edge of the chair, but still allow someone to sit there. The streamers represent FIRE. For the music, use Out of Eden’s “This is Your Life” CD. Start playing the music. While the music is playing, each girl has to sit in each chair as they move closer to the fire. Anyone left touching the fire when the music stops is BURNED, and they’re out. They take a chair with them and sit to the side, cheering their friends on, encouraging them not to get burned. The last one left wins a white rose.”

I’m all for teaching sexual purity to teenage girls (and boys for that matter), but I have to be a bit disturbed by this game. In the context of the larger lesson, I can only assume this game is meant to imply that if you have premarital sex, you’re going to hell (with the implication that no one will ever love you, especially God).

I know youth ministry is hard. I’m scared to death whenever I help out with our youth group. But I also don’t think we should scare the kids into thinking they’re going to hell if they ever do something that does not fit into our moral/ethical framework.

The Christian life is not about morality motivated by fear. It is about morality motivated by joy that we have become part of something bigger than ourselves. And the best part is that even if we do falter, we have a God who welcomes us home, encourages us to right our wrongs, and loves us even as we are a work in progress.

I’d rather have that than a white rose any day.

Blankets

I just finished reading the graphic novel Blankets by Craig Thompson. This is perhaps the best book I have read in a long time. I was captivated from the beginning; I didn’t want to put it down. (My wife didn’t put it down – she read it in one sitting.) You don’t have to believe me. Time Magazine, Publishers Weekly, The New York Times Book Review (may require registration), and a host of others all rave about this book.

Blankets is a story about obsession, both religious and romantic. You cannot deny the impact Thompson’s upbringing in an ultra-conservative church background has on this story. But Thompson is able to look at that past, and at himself, with true honesty. He does not finger point in the ways many of us wish he would, though his portrayal of people in his church will certainly strike a chord with many of you.* Instead Thompson paints a beautiful portrait that captures your attention from the beginning.

Add this book to the top of your summer reading list. It truly is a work of art.


*If you want to read more of Thompson’s thoughts about his background, among other things, check out his great interview with Jason Dodd from Bandoppler.

I'm A Cherry Ghost

Theologians
They don’t know nothing
About my soul
About my soul

Twice in the last week I have been greeted by these words as I’ve driven onto the seminary campus, listening to my new favorite station 89.3 “The Current” (MPR’s new music station). It’s the opening stanza from “Theologians” off Wilco’s most recent CD A Ghost Is Born. I’ve listened to my own copy of the CD many times, but for some reason this song stuck out to me more when I heard on the radio.

The first time I was going to do research on the Atonement. I was specifically researching ideas (John Calvin’s mostly) of Christ’s descent into hell, as mentioned in the Apostles’ Creed. Not exactly dinner conversation. The second time I was on my way to my Systematic Theology class.

So, as a young theology student I suppose I should be insulted by the claim I know nothing about Jeff Tweedy’s soul. Theology is after all a serious endeavor. It’s humanity’s attempt to make sense of God and our relationship to him (and ultimately our relationship to others, the world and ourselves).

The problem is that I think Jeff Tweedy is right. Theologians don’t seem to know anything about his soul or anyone else’s for that matter. Academic theology has created this world where questions are asked that don’t really apply to most people’s life. And the theologians seem to like it that way.

Let’s be honest, do most people care about the concept of Christ’s descent into hell? No, they may be curious when they read it in the Apostles’ Creed, but it isn’t going to change their life.

Practical theology isn’t any better. You go to most churches in America, and the sermons are basically sanitized morality lessons. There is nothing inherently wrong or heretical with them; they’re just shallow. And the congregation seems to like it that way.

How do you raise the level of spiritual and theological reflection in American churches, and how do you get theologians to address real issues in ways that meet people where they’re at?

Is it too much to ask for deep thinking theology that impacts my life, my world, my reality?

Roll Over, Play Dead

Do you feel distant from God? Do you often look at your dog and wonder, ‘Boy, he seems so content. I bet his relationship with God is going great. I wish I could be more like him.”

If so, I’ve got a book for you: Dog Psalms: Prayers My Dogs Have Taught Me. If you’re like me, when you look at a dog you see a creature obsessed with humping, eating its own feces and inappropriately licking itself in front of company. Luckily for us, author Dr. Herbert Brokering looks at dogs and sees creatures that can teach us how to have a deeper relationship with God.

Still think dogs are filthy creatures completely unsuitable for use as spiritual metaphors, never fear, Dr. Brokering has a companion book, Cat Psalms: Prayers My Cats Have Taught Me. Read prayers written in the voices of different cats as well as prayers “in which the human spirit speaks of its cat-like nature to God.” (Amazon.com Product Info.)

I know on the surface this all sounds a bit crazy. I would never look at household pets and think of ways to better pray to God. But thankfully we have Dr. Brokering to delve below the surface of sane human reason to bring us a deeper picture of our own spirituality as portrayed by our furry friends.

Before you write him off as another burned-out Timothy Leary follower, remember that Dr. Brokering is the “Leonardo DaVinci of the Prairies.” What does that mean? I don’t really know, but it sounds like someone I can trust.

I can’t wait for the third installment, Gerbil Revelations: Lessons My Gerbils Have Taught Me About the Apocalypse (with a forward by Richard Gere).

Thanks to my friend (and former Christian retail coworker) Beth for the product info.

Popsicle Stick Crosses Will Save The World

A couple in my church, Ben and Alexandra Pierre, recently gave birth to their first son, Philippe. All was well until a few weeks into his life it was discovered he had Hydrocephalus. He basically had too much fluid on the brain. Philippe survived, but any developmental damage will only be discovered as he matures.

After some recuperation time, Philippe and his parents returned to church. During the offertory time, the children were brought downstairs so they could be with their parents during communion. As they entered, each one of them was holding a little popsicle stick cross they had made and personally decorated.

As they walked in, their teacher paraded them over to Philippe where each child handed their cross to Alexandra. Each cross represented the prayers the kids, and the church, had prayed to God on behalf of baby Philippe. You could see the emotion washing over her.

Later, Alexandra came forward to receive communion, holding Philippe in her arms. The person administering the bread was John Fugate, an elder in the church and Philippe’s doctor. He placed his hand on Philippe’s head and prayed a blessing over him. I’m not being poetic when I say tears streamed down Alexandra’s face.

Jesus was always quick to defend children. And while he was making a point about faith, these children showed me the true impact the church can have in the world. Alexandra’s reality was changed forever. God reached into her life and touched her in a very profound way through a group of children and a bunch of popsicle stick crosses.

We’re not going to save the world by taking back Washington. We’re not even going to save the world with our beautiful sermons. We will save the world by taking the time to become intimately involved in the lives of those around us; taking the time to hurt as they hurt, laugh as they laugh, and showing them hope in a God who is there, even when it seems like nothingness and pain are the only realities we can comprehend.

When It's Time To Change, You've Got To Rearrange

I am afraid that my time in the magical world of Christian retail has come to an end. I was offered a part-time job at my church, and I made the jump.

This blog will still exist. I’ll still make fun of the Christian culture, but I envision this space growing to encompass more general discussions of faith and culture along with critiques of bumper stickers. This was bound to happen anyway. You can make fun of Joel Osteen’s hair for only so long before you get bored.

I believe this change will be positive. It’s like when Good Morning Miss Bliss became Saved By The Bell. We all cried at the departure of Hayley Mills as the lovably kooky Miss Bliss. But in return, we were given Tiffani-Amber Thiessen as Kelly Kapowski. If that’s not divine providence, I don’t know what is.

Live Strong

A woman recently asked me if we had any “Christian knock-offs” of the Lance Armstrong Live Strong bracelets. When I informed her we did not, she said, “That’s funny, we [Christians] usually have some cheap knock-off on the streets in a matter of weeks. I wonder what’s taking so long?”

This woman was at once my most refreshing customer and my most perplexing. Here was a person unafraid to admit the tendency for “Christian knock-offs.” Finally, an honest person was in my store.

What was perplexing was how this lack of creativity seemed to affect her. While she readily admitted most of the “Jesus Junk” was nothing more than a cheap knock-off, she was more than willing to buy it.

Is this my worst fear? Is this a sign that American Christianity has become content to exist as a mere imitation of popular culture?

I suppose you could easily make that argument based on some of the music, books and merchandise we sell. The majority of our church services create some diluted version of pop culture offerings in the name of being “seeker sensitive.” Why must we be content to exist as a cheaper, less creative version of the rest of the world? Why can’t Christians push the cultural landscape?

This sounds very similar to the discussion taking place in the comments section of my “Jay Jay” post. Some theorized that retail is a method by which we express our identity. Therefore, if some Christians are comfortable expressing themselves as cheap knock-offs of pop culture, they should have every right to do so.

The people who argued this point missed the larger question. This is not about retail existing as a means of expressing one’s identity. This is not even about retail. This is about the church becoming comfortable as an institution catering to the complacency of its congregation. Christianity should not exist solely as a place for people looking for spiritual comfort. Christianity should exist as a tool of social and cultural change.

The church is not meant to be a reflection of culture with a God twist. The church is meant to be a reflection of God in a world drowning in sin. We don’t offer that anymore. We sold the high ground in the name of “evangelism,” and it will kill us yet.

Don't Eat the Vegetables

One Yuletide constant in the bookstore is the overabundance of nativity sets. We literally have them piled up in the front of store. We are out of shelf space. Who knew there were so many takes on the Holy Family sitting in a barn?

Into this fray enters the VeggieTales Nativity Play Set.

I should mention how much I love VeggieTales. I find their videos to be funny, intelligent and great for parents and kids alike. For that, I can look past the unsettling nature of talking vegetables.

Just an aside: What do the VeggieTales characters eat? They can’t be vegetarians. That would make them cannibals. For once the vegetarians would be the cruel ones. I’m guessing its some sort of bread-based high carb diet.

Anyway, despite my love for VeggieTales, I do have to wonder if they’ve gone too far depicting baby Jesus as a baby carrot. I usually dip baby carrots in ranch dressing. For some reason, I feel uncomfortable with the idea of baby Jesus smothered in salad dressing or any other condiment for that matter. It just doesn’t seem orthodox.

Surely, nativity sets are supposed to inspire contemplative thoughts of the lowly conditions surrounding the birth of Christ. The only thing the VeggieTales Nativity Play Set makes me think is, “Boy, a salad sure does sound good right about now.”