Sunday, February 28, 2010
Ripping Up The Pavement - Streetcars And Orthodoxy
Saturday, February 27, 2010
A Prayer For The Tenth Day Of Lent
Friday, February 26, 2010
A Prayer For The Ninth Day Of Lent
Thursday, February 25, 2010
If I ever saw you do anything that wasn't ninety percent selfish, I'd die of shock.
I have a daughter, and if you ever tried to hurt her, you would have to kill me first. And I'm not an easy out. I would use every last bit of my strength to keep you from hurting my child. Even knowing that, I cannot begin to imagine the sacrifice that God made for me. It was the most selfless act ever.
I think helping a friend move on a Saturday is a sacrifice. I don't know the first thing about sacrifice, or about love. "Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:12b-13) By that definition, I don't know that I love that many people. Isn't it sad that after so much has been sacrificed for me, that I find it so hard to truly sacrifice for others? Isn't sad that I find it so hard to love?
A Prayer For The Eighth Day Of Lent
Lord, we are a selfish people. We care more about our own comfort than we do about those in need. We mistake discomfort for sacrifice. We dare question your love and your goodness, even though you sacrificed your son for us. We do not want to turn from our selfish ambitions, so we declare you imaginary, irrelevant or dead in order to avoid the sacrifice that following you demands. Give us opportunities to truly sacrifice in your name, and send your Holy Spirit to empower us to sacrifice when you ask us to.
Lord, in your mercy
Hear our prayer
-Ben Reed, February 25, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
A Prayer For The Seventh Day Of Lent
Lord, in your mercy
Hear our prayer
-Ben Reed, February 24, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Of Course It's Weird - Some Dude Rose From The Dead
As I've been trying to create space during Lent in which to encounter God, I've been convicted of some wrong attitudes I've had over the last few years. One of the biggest is my unwillingness to live as someone truly transformed by the Gospel. I don't want to live that way because it would be weird."You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you odd."-Flannery O'Connor
It's weird because Christianity is weird. We believe that God humbled himself and became man. We believe that he was crucified, took on the weight of our sin, died and was buried. We believe that he rose from the dead. That's just weird.
And it should inspire weird lives. If we're honest, we're not that weird. (And "witty" t-shirts are not divine weirdness; they're just bad art.) How are our priorities, our actions or even our expectations about life, any different than those who don't believe in Christianity?
But I don't want to be weird; I want to be liked. I'm afraid that people will be turned off by the weirdness of a life truly transformed by the Gospel. Some might be turned off, but what I don't realize is that the weirdness is what's beautiful.
Whenever I feel like I need to be reminded of the beauty of being weird in the name of God, I pull out a little Danielson. While they've taken various forms over the years, the driving creative force has always been Daniel Smith. His lyrics are Christian (and a little weird), and his music tends to fall toward the less accessible end of the spectrum.
The beautiful thing is that his faith leads him to make challenging art that people are forced to wrestle with. There is a documentary out about the band called Danielson: a Family Movie. I haven't seen it, but the trailer (embedded below) gives you a taste for how so many fans are almost disgusted (or at least annoyed) by the band's overt faith. But the beauty of the art keeps drawing them in.
I know I have trouble being comfortable in my own skin. I care too much what others think. I need to embrace the weirdness of the Gospel and the way it changed my life. And I need to live it out in all of it's beautiful, awe inspiring weirdness.
As Daniel Smith [I believe it's Daniel] says in the trailer, "It's not for us, by us, to us, or about us. So, we just keep pointing to the creator of music - the maker." May we all strive to do just that.
A Prayer For The Sixth Day Of Lent
Lord we thank you for the truth you have revealed to us in your son, Jesus Christ. And we praise you for the beautiful, awe-inspiring weirdness that is the Gospel. Send us your Holy Spirit so that we can embody this weirdness for the world to see. Let it permeate our lives. Let it inspire beauty. Let it force us to redefine the expectations of the world. Let it shine so bright that the world must wrestle with it's beauty, it's intricacy and it's revolution. Lord, make us weird.
Lord, in your mercy
Hear our prayer.
"Did I Step On Your Trumpet"
Lyrics and Music by Daniel Smith
Copyright 2006
Did I step on your trumpet
Or did I lump
Lump them in with you
I put your name on the ballot
'Cause you should run
Though you don't want to
I've been called the wet blanket
By cranks who I out rank with no thanks
Who do not have a
Clue
Yes I know how to be quiet just one more thing
I made you something
I wrote for you a lovely sonnet
'Bout two great friends
Your truly and you
We'll grant just one social skill
Share a gesture of goodwill
How
I try
To relate
With my shipmates
Then I just start blurting out the first thing on my mind
How am I looking in your frilly bonnet
With the diamond on it
I guess I better go
I'm a people magnet
When I wear your jacket
Good luck getting this
Pleasing people
Is so predictable
We love you now
Then stab you how many
Time I obsess
And am making a mess
Failing to impress you
In all that I can't do
Would you take care of my pet parrot
And feed him these
He speaks less than me
You speak so much about my casket
My body basket
Did I do something wrong
We'll grant one more social clue
The landfill shall be home to you
All my ships
Sailing relatons
Have finally found
Who I am made out to be
Me and free of
Pleasing people
Is so predictable
We love you now
Then stab you how many
Time I obsess
And am making a mess
Failing to impress you
In all that I can't
Be just who you're made to be
Pappa is so mighty pleased with thee
Monday, February 22, 2010
Making Space
Lent is less for giving up, and more for making space. We make space to contemplate what it is that we will celebrate in 40 days’ time. We make space to recognise our faults. We pray a little more. We allow our emptier stomachs to remind us of the pithiness of our observations in comparison with real hunger. We give more money. We confess. We reconcile. We listen to emptiness for a while. We do not say Alleluia.I have trouble with space. Because with space comes quiet, and the quiet makes me nervous. If you've known me for any length of time, you know I tend to ramble once I start talking about anything of length. This is either because I mistake your courtesy laughs for genuine enjoyment, or I'm afraid of the inevitable awkward silence that will follow my babbling.
I especially hate making space and quiet for God. If you make space for God and take the time to try and listen, there's always the potential for him to show up. When he shows up, he brings conviction with him. Of course, he also brings grace and hope, but we cannot appreciate this until we have peered into the emptiness and realized we are nothing.
Of course, there is also the risk of him leaving us alone for awhile in the awkward silence and empty space. Either option - being met immediately or being left to wait - forces me to recognize the the fact that he is in control, and I am nothing but a sinner who cannot save himself.
Like I said, I have trouble with space.
A Prayer For The Fifth Day Of Lent
Lord, create a space for us to reflect on our fallen nature and our need for a savior. We pray for courage to peer into the dark corners of the awkward silences, and we pray that you will meet us there. We are quiet before you.
Lord, in your mercy
Hear our prayer
-Ben Reed, February 22, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
The New Jerusalem - A City of Immigrants/A City of Grace
Saturday, February 20, 2010
A Prayer For The Fourth Day Of Lent
Friday, February 19, 2010
The Third Day Of Lent
Lent is the time that the Church sets aside for us to remember and focus on these tragedies. We do this, not because God is absent in all of this, but because these tragedies are precisely where God is. God’s love for people extends beyond the worst that can possibly happen. Jesus came into the world to give people the ability to live in hope despite our tragic circumstances. Despite all the facts that I listed above, God is here with us. God is giving us hope to face the terrible situations and make something better out of them.If we lived in a rosy, perfect world we wouldn’t need Lent. If the only problems in our lives are who will organize the Parish Pot luck next week or where we’ll go on vacation next summer we would not need Lent. Lent is a time for us to look around us and look around the world at the serious problems. A time for us to understand the problems. A time for us to immerse ourselves in the problems. We have Lent to be depressed about the world.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Let Your Mercy Spill
It’s the second day of Lent, and I’m already struggling. I have committed to pray for those in my life, and I’m already wishing certain people were no longer in my life. I’ve had no problems praying for those in my inner circle – people in my community group, friends, family, coworkers, etc. It’s easy to pray for people who give something back in the relationship.
We all have those people who seem to only bring grief, struggle or at least major annoyance. Heck, I might be that person in your life. I found myself refusing to pray for those types of people in my life. I couldn’t even muster a simple, “Lord, please bless, John Doe.”
If I’m honest, it’s because I know that prayer will change me (to steal a line from C.S. Lewis). I am afraid that by praying for these people, I will gain either empathy or conviction. Either result forces me to reevaluate my relationship to them, and to admit that I have failed as someone who is supposed to live out the grace of Christ.
I hate being reminded of how pathetic I am when left to my own devices.
A Prayer For The Second Day Of Lent
Lord, we confess that we are imperfect servants who cannot be trusted.
When you ask us to stand for what is right, we run because we do not have faith that you will be there to fight with us.
When you ask us to extend grace to those we disagree with, we destroy friendships in order to prove our doctrinal integrity concerning trivial things.
When you ask us to love our neighbors as ourselves, we long for the day when our neighbors will be more like ourselves and thus easier to love.
And when you ask us to give everything we own to the poor and follow you, we remind you that the poor are in need of rehabilitation not charity.
We confess our pride, our sin, and our bullheaded stupidity. Please transform the desires of our heart to be the desires of your heart. Fill us with your spirit so that we might be a strong fighter, a gentle friend, a loving neighbor, and a charitable person. Show us your will and strengthen us to follow it.
Lord, in your mercy
Hear our prayer.
-Ben Reed, February 18, 2010
“If It Be Your Will”
Leonard Cohen
If it be Your will
That I speak no more
Let my voice be still
As it was before
I will speak no more
I will abide until
I am spoken for
If it be Your will
If it be your will
That a voice be true
From this broken hill
I will sing to you
From this broken hill
All Your praises they will sing
If it be Your will
To let me sing
If it be Your will
If there is a choice
Let the rivers fill
Let the hills rejoice
Let your mercy spill
On all these burning heats in hell
If it be Your will
To make us well
And draw us near
And bind us tight
All your children here
In rags of light
In our rags of light
All dressed to kill
And end this night
If it be Your will
If it be Your will
(C)1984 by Leonard Cohen Stranger Music, Inc. (BMI)
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Ash Wednesday
I remember having a conversation a few years ago about whether or not you should wash the ashes off your forehead immediately following the Ash Wednesday service or wear them the rest of the day. A friend told me that you should wear your ashes with pride. This always struck me as odd. I see no pride in the ashes on my forehead; I see only shame.
The ashes are made by burning the palms from last year’s Palm Sunday service. On Palm Sunday we remember that the same crowd that joyously welcomed Jesus into the city, would yell “Crucify him!” less than a week later. The palms are a reminder that too often, when God “fails” to meet our expectation of who we believe he should be, we deny him and call for his head.
The ashes are a shameful reminder of our fallen nature. And they are a necessary somber note to begin the season of Lent.
A Prayer For Ash Wednesday 2010
Lord, as the ashes are pressed to our forehead, we are reminded that from dust we have come and to dust we shall return. And as we leave this sanctuary, marked for all to see, we are overcome with shame. Shame for the fact that we are sinners in need of a savior; shame that we have attempted to reduce you to figurehead; and shame because we can no longer hide our allegiance from the world.
Like St. Peter we have denied you, but now all will see that we are your children. You have marked us with the ashes of our misplaced expectations, our sinful desires and our unbelief. We are sinners saved by grace, and we can no longer deny it.
As we go out into this cold night, we simply pray, “I believe; help thou my unbelief.”
Lord, in your mercy
Hear our prayer
-Ben Reed, Ash Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Ash Wednesday
Marjorie Maddox
Fingernails scrubbed clean as latrines
in the army, this symbol
of a man dirties his thumb
with our skin, the powdery ash riding high
on his pores, not sinking in
before he sketches the gray
of our dirt-birth across a brow
we were born to furrow.
Listen to the sound of forgiveness:
the crossing of skin, the cult-
like queuing up to explode
in ripped whispers, "Lord,
have mercy, Lord, have
mercy, Lord, have mercy."
And we want it. And we take it
home with us to stare back
from a lover's forehead,
to come off in a smear on the sheets
as we roll onto each other's skin,
or to wear like a bindhi this medal of our not winning
each day we wake to the worlds
we are and are not.
And when we wake too early
before the light of just-becoming-day
sneaks in on us, and we stand lonely, deceived
into piety, scrubbing away the grime of our humanness
like fierce fierce toothbrushes on latrines
in the army, there it is still,
raw with our washings:
the human beneath.
Take That And Rewind It Back
I think it’s time to get the band back together. Not that anyone cares, except for the half dozen or so people who are too lazy to delete this blog from their RSS feed after nearly 4 years of silence. But for the first time since June 2006, I think I can finally say, “I’m going to start blogging again.” (I know. Blogging is about as cutting edge as a cassette tape, but then again, I dare to think that a two thousand year old religion is still relevant. Cutting edge isn’t exactly something I care about.)
While I’ll keep the title “They Will Know Us By Our T-Shirts” and the christianretail.blogspot.com address for now, I will spend precious little time mocking the kitsch of the American Christian subculture. Much like my own faith journey, I think I am ready to move past mocking where I’m from and journey into a place where I begin to ask serious questions about how my faith impacts my life.
A Little History
I started this blog to document my job at a Christian bookstore. It was funny because I was the cynical kid who hated the kitschy t-shirts and Jesus action figures, but found himself selling the very things he hated. Hilarity ensued.
Like anything founded on the idea of being against something, this blog eventually collapsed under the weight of its own hubris. Or to put it more simply, it’s not very fulfilling to only mock something. This blog reflected my faith at the time. I didn’t know what I stood for, but I knew what I didn’t want to be (the guy who made fun of t-shirts). I didn’t think anyone wanted to watch me figure it out, so I just stopped.
A lot has happened since then. I’ve found my way back home to Indianapolis. I’ve become a father. And I’ve finally embraced orthodoxy. (Well, I should say that I am continually struggling by the grace of God to embrace orthodoxy. It’s not always easy.) I’ve seen God’s grace reform my life, and I think it might be time to try and reform this blog.
That’s Great, But What Are You Doing?
While I’m sure discussions of the Christian subculture will still figure into this space, I think I’m going to focus more on the intersection of my faith with my life. Essentially trying to answer the question, “How should we then live?” I’m sure I’ll deal mostly with issues relevant to my life – fatherhood, living in the city, education (I work in higher ed), and food. There will be plenty of food.
I thought I'd start with Lent, traditionally a time when those who have left the church ready themselves through prayer and fasting to be welcomed back at Easter. I thought that had a certain poetic parallel to my desire to reenter the discussions I started on this blog with new eyes and a new heart.
My pastor in Minneapolis, Christian Ruch, often encouraged me to take on something during Lent (like a spiritual discipline) in addition to or instead of fasting. I'm taking on prayer. In addition to spending more time praying for those in my life, I am going to write a prayer for each day of Lent and post it here. 40 straight days of blogging after four years of silence. We'll see how this goes.
A Note About Prayer
The prayers will be written as if they were to be read aloud to a congregation. The Anglican church has a section of their service called Prayers of the People. When it was my turn to lead the prayers, I would often write my own opening prayer during the service. Whatever I was experiencing - the pain of infertility, mind numbing depression, or sheer joy from the realization of God's saving grace - these things always came through and lent a sense of urgency to the prayer. I hope the same thing will happen over these next 40 days.